She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
