Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she smelled like a LAN party
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
