just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
