Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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