You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
