I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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