Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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