I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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