She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.