He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.