Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
