I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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