No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
