Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
