i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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