Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
