her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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