Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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