she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
