Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
