I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
