About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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