do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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