Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
