The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i want to swaddle you in tequila
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
