the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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