I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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