I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
