i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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