Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
