We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just pee around me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
