thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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