His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize