the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
