i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
