I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
