So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
