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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  But what if he licks everyones ass?

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.

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• (310): View more from California

  once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.

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• 

  Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.

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• 

  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm a pro at the other 9-5

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• (716): View more from New York

  Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?

  (716): View more from New York

  If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"

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