I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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