Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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