I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!