Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.