I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you will always have a special place in my vag
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy