I'm lost and stupid without you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sorry about my life...
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