i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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