It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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