i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
