dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
