and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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