I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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