I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize