Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
