last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
where are you?
Hypothermia
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
