just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
