I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
