she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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