If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think people are normalizing furries
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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