She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm too high and old for this...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
