at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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