kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
