They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
