Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?