i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
