It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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