Me too!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
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Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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