So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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