i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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