Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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