I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
