Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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