Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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