I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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