just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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